By Kim Kaltreider
Kim: Have you started Ian with swim/bike/running yet? What do you anticipate will be his strongest discipline?
Grace: Yes... the kid rides. He doesn't stop running. Ever. But sinks like a rock. Perhaps duathlons will be his race. If he does get the swimming thing down, I think he'll be an XTERRA guy. He much prefers riding his bike over sticks and rocks than staying on the road. It's hard to say what his strongest discipline will be. He has been running longer than biking (he was one of those 'skip walking and just start running' kids), but he's picked up the biking really quickly. He'll have to work hard on those to catch the Aronii out of the water.
Kim: Tony, when would it be an appropriate age to purchase a speedo and bike shorts for Ian?
Tony: It is never too early to have a speedo or bike shorts. I think we need to get him "potty trained" first, but I guess that is not a requirement for triathlon.
Kim: What is your most embarrassing race story?
Grace: Maybe I blocked it out. I can't think of any really embarrassing stories. The one sort of embarrassing story that comes to mind is during a race I started getting passed on the bike by a handful of guys that I knew started in the waves before me. I felt so bad for them because they had to have had such a bad swim to be so far behind me. It wasn't until I was finishing the second loop of the bike that I realized that no, they didn't have bad swims. They weren't just catching up to me. They were, in fact, lapping me.
Tony: I think mine would be the one where I did the entire bike with my goggles in my helmet. I just could not understand why my head hurt so much during the race.
Kim: Have you ever raced in just a swimsuit?
Grace: Hell no. Wouldn't even do it on a dare.
Kim: Tony, didn’t you once race in jorts?
Kim: Do you use body glide? If so, where?
Grace: Interesting question. Pass. :-)
Tony: I use it quite liberally. Basically any place that might even have a chance of rubbing. You all can use your imagination on the rest.
Kim: Favorite distance triathlon?
Grace: I used to think that it was the half, but after the past two seasons I've reconsidered. I stuck to sprints and olympics and am appreciating their "funness". The training is more fun (there's not as much of it), the races are more fun, and the rest of the day is more fun (as I'm not eating like a fatigued fiend). My perfect race is an olympic with a sprint swim.
Tony: I have to go with the half. The ratios of swim to bike and run are much better than that of an olympic. You also get a chance to look around and enjoy the day and not have to give up 6 months of your life. Oh wait ... I forgot I do not train any more for races.
Kim: What is your pre-race breakfast? Are you a 4 cup applesauce kind of gal? How many times do you go to the bathroom?
Grace: I don't care what people say. The applesauce pre-race breakfast works like a charm. There's no need for dishes or silverware. Just drink the sauce from the jar, eat a banana, have a protein shake, and I'm set. I enjoy the day before the race breakfast more, though. Pancakes!
Why do triathlon conversations always end up revolving around poop?
Kim: Tony, do you drink the applesauce koolaid? Do you and Grace have to fight for the bathroom on race mornings?
Tony: I have to admit that the applesauce works great. I love not having to think about what to do on race morning. Just follow the plan. As for the bathroom, I am a 3X guy, without fail.
Kim: True or False: Women become faster after giving birth.
Grace: It's funny. It seems like the women get faster and then men (who did not actually give birth) get slower. What's up with that?
Kim: So Tony, sounds like you lost some speed?!
Tony: Yes getting Chicked has been a thing I am dealing with as of this year. Both Will and I are going to be going to a support group for this. "Hi my name is tony and It has been 5 months since my last chicking…"
Kim: What is that terrible instrument you use during ART that scrapes you until you cry?
Grace: You love it and you know it.
Kim: Tony, does Grace use any painful instruments on you at home?
Tony: that painful instrument makes me want to toss my cookies every time I think about it. The sound of it working is just really gross… oh yeah and the pain, that part is good too.
Kim: If you could change anything about triathlons, what would it be?
Tony: I would have to go with my fitness level.
Grace: I would have to agree with Tony on the fitness level thing. But that would probably require more training which ain't gonna happen.
Kim: Which was more enjoyable: (1) the day Ian became potty trained or (2) chicking Fun Tony at Sharon?
Grace: Well you see, I can only have joy for the potty training event once. But if I'm lucky I can continue chicking Fun Tony over and over again. With that rationale, I'd take the poopy diapers.
Kim: Tony, do you and Grace bet when you race together? Besides the glory and being able to say she chicked you, what does Grace win when she beats you?
Tony: We will bet on almost anything besides races. I love it when Grace kicks butt. It is nice to see her up on the podium. I want to go on the record that I might have gotten chicked at The Sharon Tri, but I did win the Sharon Beer Mile later on that day!!!
Kim: red or white?
Grace: Is there even a question here? Red all the way. That and tequila.
Tony: I have to agree on this one. If it is not red it is not really worth drinking. A full bodied selection from Spain would be my preference. As for tequila… well you should ask Brett how he feels about that particular beverage.